If you’re worried about protecting your marriage from infidelity, there’s good news: it means
you care deeply about the commitment you’ve made to your spouse. The two of you have
something special, and you’re dedicated to seeing it through.
There are many steps you can take to protect your marriage from an affair, including open
communication, setting boundaries, and meeting each other’s needs. In this article, Dr. Les
and Leslie Parrot share a few things you can start doing right away to help one another feel
loved and secure. Let’s get started.
TELL EACH OTHER HOW MUCH YOU VALUE YOUR RELATIONSHIP
One important way to affair-proof your marriage is to openly communicate to your spouse
about how much you value them and your relationship. Let them know that you take your
vows seriously. Tell them how much you love them on a regular basis.
Your marriage is a commitment that you treasure, so make sure you are communicating
that. Take intentional action each day to show your love and appreciation for your spouse.
This doesn’t always require elaborate gestures; the little things add up.
TALK ABOUT YOUR UNCERTAINTIES AND FEARS
It’s natural to have fleeting worries about your spouse’s faithfulness, or about your own
ability to stay faithful. Self-doubt and fear are normal, but it’s important to avoid creating a
mood of uncertainty in your relationship. This is especially true if neither of you has any solid
reason to suspect unfaithfulness.
You might be feeling anxious, but don’t let anxiety drive every conversation. Lead with the
love you have for one another and keep that front and center. Finally, reassure one another
when fears do arise.
SET HEALTHY BOUNDARIES TO PROTECT YOUR MARRIAGE
Healthy boundaries can help protect your marriage from infidelity. You can set boundaries
together. Identify areas of agreement and decide on the ways you want to guard your
relationship.
For example, be open and honest with each other about the things that make you
comfortable or uncomfortable. Find ways to help one another feel safe. For example, the two
of you might agree not to meet or communicate with opposite-sex friends in private.
WORK TO MEET ONE ANOTHER’S EMOTIONAL NEEDS
Affairs are often the result of unmet emotional needs, rather than physical ones. With that in mind, you’ll want to get clear on what each of your emotional needs are, and do your best to
meet them for each other. When you’re both feeling emotionally safe and fulfilled in your
marriage, you’re more likely to enjoy a secure, lasting relationship.
If you need help getting clarity, we suggest taking a relationship assessment like the SYMBIS
Assessment. Resources like Dr. Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages are also incredibly
helpful in this area. Knowing yourselves and one another on a deeper level will help you both
know what to ask for, and how to help one another feel loved.
CHECK IN WITH EACH OTHER REGULARLY
Finally, make time to communicate regularly about your needs. Does your spouse feel that
their needs are being met right now? What about you? Take this opportunity to learn more
about how your relationship dynamic is working, then take steps toward improvement.
(Provided By Dr. Les and Leslie Parrot)
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