Have you ever damaged or broken your spouse’s trust in you? Earning that trust
back takes hard work and patience on both your parts. The good news is, in many
situations, it’s possible to earn their trust again.
First, you’re probably already aware that your actions have had a grievous impact
on your spouse and their sense of wellbeing. Second, we understand that it’s painful
to learn you’ve hurt the person you love most. This may be one of the most painful
situations you ever walk through together.
Easing back into a trusting relationship with your spouse takes commitment, time,
patience, and selflessness. You will need to be prepared to invest a lot of time and
effort into regaining your spouse’s trust. If you and your spouse have agreed to work
through this together, you’ll need to be prepared for a journey that will be difficult to
navigate at times.
If you’re ready to begin earning back your spouse’s trust, we can help. Aside from
taking immediate, corrective action to stop the destructive behavior, there are four
things you can do to help throughout the rebuilding process.
COMMIT TO DOING WHATEVER IT TAKES TO RE-ESTABLISH TRUST IN YOUR
MARRIAGE.
Helping your spouse trust you again means doing whatever it takes to help them be
able to believe in your words and actions. You’ll need to work together to figure out
what this looks like for your relationship. Be receptive to your spouse’s requests and
understand that there’s a reason they’re asking this of you. Be willing to listen and
set aside habits or relationships that hurt their ability to trust you. If you’re serious
about healing your relationship, this is a crucial step.
2. REALIZE YOUR SPOUSE MAY NEED A LONG TIME TO HEAL–AND GIVE THEM AS
MUCH TIME AS THEY NEED.
Demanding that your spouse trust you again within a specific time frame is
unrealistic–and it will do further harm to your relationship. The fact that you did
something to hurt them means you now need to give them the time and space to
heal. You do not need to nag your spouse about how long it will take for them to be
okay. They likely won’t be okay for a long time, but the fact that they’re trying to give
you grace is a good sign. Your spouse’s love for you means you have the chance to
make things right–but this won’t happen in your time.
3. BE PATIENT WHILE YOUR SPOUSE PROCESSES THE SITUATION.
Refrain from expressing or showing impatience toward your spouse. Patience goes
hand-in-hand with time. There will likely be times when your spouse wants to talk
through the situation with you, for example. They might need to gain a better
understanding of what happened. When they approach you, show patience and
love as you answer their questions. Don’t behave as though they have no right to
ask. If you’re serious about rebuilding trust, patience is part of the process.
4. BE SELFLESS IN YOUR ENDEAVOR TO RE-EARN TRUST.
Earning your spouse’s trust again is heavily dependent on your ability to be selfless.
Selfish actions damage trust. But selflessness can heal broken trust and hurting
relationships. Stay focused on putting your spouse first and serving them in love. Be
diligent and genuine as you do so. Consistently showing your spouse how much you
care for them will go a long way toward earning their trust once again.
LEARN TO SHOW CHRISTLIKE LOVE TO YOUR SPOUSE.
Jesus was the ultimate demonstrator of true godly love. Whether you’re rebuilding
trust in your marriage or just want to love your spouse better, the book, “Healing
Your Marriage When Trust Is Broken”, is a road map for loving more like Christ. The
lessons contained in this book can help heal any relationship, but especially your
marriage.
Rebuilding trust is a difficult road to travel with your spouse. It’s possible you may
need to consider seeking professional support to walk through this season.
Provided By Dr. Les and Leslie Parrot
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